Demand Satisfaction!

I remember growing up and loving our very occasional visits to Toys-R-Us. Not quite on the level of a Disneyland, but it was a special place for us kids, and there was always the air of discovery walking through its aisles. Today, for those of us shelling out the cash, the discovery is just how cynically the nation’s biggest toy store views its customers.

Therefore, the first entrant into the Satisfaction Hall of Shame is ToysRUs.com. ConsumerAffairs.com has a long list of customer complaints about the bricks and mortar business, but here we’ll convey a story that embodies the worst of “flat earth” customer service.

The reader, Britton, tells his experience like this:

I recently ordered a Bratz doll and chemistry set from ToysRUs.com for an upcoming Toys for Tots donation event. The site and confirmation email told me the items were in stock and that I’d be receiving them within 3-5 days. Fair enough. But a few days later I tried tracking them using the UPS tracking code they’d given me and UPS’ web site couldn’t find them at all. So I called the Toys-R-Us customer service hotline.

I reached a poor agent named Todd. He was in for a rough time. Here’s what happened:

Britton: I’m trying to find out where my order #_______ is, since UPS’ site doesn’t show the package.
Todd: As far as I can tell the items are sitting in the warehouse waiting to be shipped.
Britton: But I was told they were shipped! What does ToysRUs consider “shipped”?
Todd: You know, it’s like when you put something in the mailbox, you’ve sent it even if the mailman hasn’t picked it up.
Britton: So you’re saying that you consider it to be shipped if it’s sitting in the warehouse for days waiting to be picked up?
Todd: I don’t know if it’s in the warehouse. There’s no way for us to know.
Britton: I ordered these toys as presents for a specific event, so I need to know when they’ll arrive.
Todd: I’m afraid that’s all the information we have.
Britton: You’re kidding me. Okay, well, I’d like to talk to your supervisor now.
Todd: I can take your number and have them call you back.
Britton: I’ll hold if you don’t mind.
Todd: Okay.
[hold music for five minutes]
Todd: I’m afraid the supervisor is busy, but I can take your number.
Britton: You already have my number on your screen. But I’ll keep holding because the rest of my day is quite busy.
Todd: Okay.
[hold music for five minutes]
Todd: There are no supervisors available to talk.
Britton: Then can I talk to your supervisors’ supervisor? The person responsible for hiring and firing?
Todd: I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know who that is.

He’d hit at least three dead ends in one call. Britton eventually got the information he needed from a kindly UPS agent who’d been with the company for twenty years and seemed to know everything about UPS’ inner workings. The order had been shipped after all, but was under a different shipping # that ToysRUs failed to provide. Britton didn’t blame Todd for being completely ineffectual. In fact, he assumed that he was an agent at an outsourced customer service company with only a narrow script to guide him.

It’s a sad day indeed when even the IRS gives better customer service than the world’s biggest toy company!

Toys-R-Us, do you have anything to say in your defense before we induct you into the Satisfaction Hall of Shame?